Life of a Kept Woman

I want to chronicle this particular niche - a woman being well cared for by a man for no other reason than it fulfills them both.

Location: San Francisco Bay Area, California, United States

In 2001, I stopped working and focused on having the most pleasurable and fulfilling life possible. Today, I have succeeded my wildest expectations. A “kept woman” is a woman who is being supported comfortably by a man for reasons having nothing to do with marriage, children, or sex. We are intelligent women, who know there is more to life than proving yet again we can do it just as well as men. We are choosing lives of comfort and service, but only to the extent that it pleases us. The men who support us do so because they see it as their best move for a rich life with a partner who can create a lifestyle based on having the best of what life has to offer for them both. The best is everything from cocktails at sunset to cycling together mid-day to serving the poor.

Thursday, April 07, 2005



Here's what they say:

kept wom·an


woman supported by a lover: a woman who is financially supported, especially by a married man ( often considered offensive )

kept man
kept woman

1. derog

A man or woman supported financially by someone in return for being available to them as a sexual partner.

a kept woman a woman who is paid to live with a man I'm tired of being a kept woman. I want to be free of him.

kept woman
     n : an adulterous woman; a woman who has an ongoing extramarital
         sexual relationship with a man [syn: mistress, fancy woman]

kept woman [n]


an adulterous woman; a woman who has an ongoing extramarital sexual relationship with a man

Synonyms:fancy_woman mistress See Also: adult_female lover chachka concubine braun delilah

Here's what I say:

A kept woman today is a woman who is not married and has no children and is being fully supported by a man by choice. She may or may not live with him as is her pleasure. The arrangement is entered into freely and explicitly, and may be terminated in the same manner. The woman is under no obligation of any kind.

I specifically wanted to reclaim this phrase from the arcane archives of the American lexicon. For two years, I have been searching for a label, some short hand, to call the "us" that exits and is evolving. According to the government, we are domestic partners. While it is true that we occupy the same domicile, our deal existed before we lived together. Further, we have often referred to ourselves as companions. Certainly, George most often refers to me as his girlfriend. These terms don't quite get to the depth and interdependence I experience though.

I was in Starbucks when I first reached for this word. A well-intentioned woman asked me what I did for a living. It was a sunny afternoon in this mostly empty coffee shop, and I was feeling a juicy appreciation for my life. I was wearing a pretty casual dress as well as my gorgeous new ring made of the Mandarin Garnet that George had given me for Christmas, and I was on my way to a lovely spa. To say that I was feeling well cared for would have been entirely accurate. It was into this space that she asked this simple question. My usual response about being a former human resource manager for a fortune 50 high-tech firm didn't even come close to describing my existence at that moment. Without thinking I replied, "I'm a kept woman." How the conversation unfolded from there was illuminating.

Her: Oh you're a housewife.

Me: No, I'm not married. And actually, I pay somoene to clean my house.

Her: Oh, you're a stay-at-home mom.

Me: No, I don't have any children.

Her: So, you're unemployed.

Me: No, I just decided to stop working.

About here is where her circuits began to fry. I realized that she couldn't hear the phrase "kept woman" because she had no realty, no context in which to land the concept. Moreover, there I was this professional looking woman using a term, that had "whore" written all over it, to describe who I am. Fortunately, my chai was ready, so I could put her out of her misery.

This has become one of my missions in life; to speak this phrase, give it meaning, and have it show up as a viable option for any woman. Afterall, I'm not a beautiful tall skinny white woman. I'm an ordinary woman with some polish and education, who had the good sense to get some relationship training. If I can have it, anyone can.

To me, being a kept woman means that I am smart enough to enjoy my good life and pursue my goals in such a way that it inspires a man to want to be with me and give me more of that good life for us both to enjoy. What more could a man want than a happy, gratified woman who acknowledges that he is the cause? What more could any woman want than to have the freedom to pursue her highest dreams, inspire a man to acheive glory beyond his imagination, and serve the world by telling the truth of a life well-lived?


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